I love having hate sex.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
