he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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