Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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