im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
