I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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