Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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