mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
