I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My life is pants optional.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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