I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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