I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
