i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
