Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize