Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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