Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
