When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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