Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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