so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
