Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
