she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
