i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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