ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
