cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
