Already got asked if we're dating
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
