I heard we made out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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