Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
