so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
