you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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