i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
