and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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