Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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