Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
