I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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