so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I pour the whiskey from now on
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
