She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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