Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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