Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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