She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
