Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
