And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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