I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
