you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
