Sponge bath it is.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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