Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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