i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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