i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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