just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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