Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
