I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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