ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
