This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
