sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just pee around me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
soo... how was my night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
