i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
