Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
