i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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