i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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