Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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