I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
