1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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