dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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