Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
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