My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
