Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
