so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
