Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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