That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
