Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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