I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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