I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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