This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she told me i tasted like america
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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