I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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