She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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