No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
