Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
