just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
