After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize