You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
