Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
