can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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