margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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